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Stones of remembrance

” What do these stones mean ?” Joshua 4:6

I have not long returned with some friends from nine days on the French Camino. I can only say what a fabulous time in so many ways and would encourage you, if possible, to walk it.

There have been many surveys done to determine the reasons people travel the Camino. The French Camino, a pilgrim trail, is one thousand years old but not everybody walks it for religious or spiritual reasons. Some look at the challenge of just walking 491 miles, some to maintain fitness and my friends’ comments when asked fitted into a number of categories.

Personally, I knew for me it was the continuing road to the healing of a broken heart. Jude has been in Paradise for nearly four earth time years but I still continue to miss my darl !. Yes, things are different now even the text books tell you that but grief is in the end still lived outside a book. 

Jude would have loved the Camino but I was reminded of three things while walking and I would like to encourage you if you grieve a spouse in Christ.

  1. Our lives are enlarged by the life of those that have gone before, we carry those precious memories.
  2. There is a spiritual communion. Jesus has Jude and Jesus has me. There is a very fine liminal line between earth & paradise……think upon that…. it’s beautiful and one day at the resurrection of the saints we will be re-united, the veil will disappear.
  3. No marriage is perfect but forgetting those things before we only carry forward the good.

I had collected some flat stones from Glendalough and had an idea what I would do with them so I wrote on seven of them along with a final round stone for leaving along the journey. There was no shortage of stone mounds so in my own away, often away from my friends I took a moment each day stopped and reflected on Jude, thanking God for her life, knowing she was safe outside of an ever increasing chaotic & hostile world……. Maranatha…Come LORD Jesus come!

The final stone ended up in a beautiful flowerbed, central Logrono!

Since my return I have had a desire to return solo and God willing I will return to Logrono on the 5th August and complete the remaining 381 miles!!

Buen Camino

Reaping what we have not sown !

“Wherever there is reaping”, Evangelist Roger Carson says, “The hard work of sowing has been done first. Labour and reward are permanently linked in nature and evangelism”.

Gardening was Jude’s “Thing”, and about six years ago she set about remodelling the side of the front garden with passion. She loved tools & wood and her creative ability went right back to her days studying art at school. Using scaffolding boards, she set about on this new project and I was happy to watch from a distance!

What I had noticed nearly three years later after a little tidy it was looking incredible. All the beautiful grasses and plants had matured, the old cut down trunks of a tree were weathered and it was all looking fabulous. And of course, Mr Cockerill was still looking in charge, all I had to do was paint his beak!

Fast forward to May 2025 Jude’s earlier project was looking a bit sad after winter & needed a refurb! What amazed me was the compost heap she built & covered several years ago was ready to be used so I was able to transfer new soil to replenish the area. I couldn’t help think that in a practical way I was still, “Reaping what I had not sown”. It touched my heart and I thanked God again for Jude’s sowing all those years ago.

I couldn’t help stand back again today and say, “There you go Jude, your labour of love which has produced lasting fruit that remains. Even though you are with the LORD, you are still speaking through this and I thanked God for you”

Prayer

Dear Father, Jude is now in your presence, but as I looked at the garden project she did nearly six years ago, she is still speaking. As we sow both physically & spiritually, we know it can take time for the fruit to come but when it does it makes it all worth it.

Father, help me leave something that people will remember & enjoy.

Amen

The Stone of Departure

A group of us are preparing to walk part of the Camino de Santiago in late May and we have been busy preparing here in Northern Ireland with some wonderful walks and building relationships with each other.

Yesterday we walked up the side of Slieve Croob, County Down as a circular route, the weather patchy but probably nothing compared to the Pyrenees!

The views on a clear day are breath taking, (but not today). You can normally see Scotland, The Isle of Man, Lough Neagh etc etc. It’s an area I have personally come to love over many years and with Jude we used to have picnics at the top & fall asleep under the summer sun.

I have written about the Stone of Departure in the past but I can’t seem to find my original notes. I felt yesterday for a few moments to take the lads to a rather large granite stone just slightly over from the summit and share a few words.

Earlier in the week I had been reminded of the Stone of Ezel in 1 Samuel 20:19. David was waiting to hear from Jonathan about whether or not it was safe for David to return to King Saul. King Saul was very jealous of David & he was plagued by an evil spirit sent by God. He was on the war path to eliminate David, who was destined to become Israel’s next king.

David was hiding by the Stone Ezel to await the outcome. Jonathan on his return from his father would get a young boy to collect some arrows he had shot in the direction of the stone. The boy didn’t know David was there but the landing of the arrows gave David the sign whether he was welcome back or not. The arrows went ahead of the stone which meant Saul was looking to have David’s head if he caught him. David had to depart, leave the area and go on the run.

Nothing is wasted in the scriptures. The Stone Ezel means Departure or Showing the Way, and for a few moments I shared some practical aspects of this word and how we can find ourselves sometimes in a tight spot looking for Direction. These times can come while under severe pressure but because of the Providence of God we can trust Him in guiding our footsteps if we simply acknowledge Him in all our ways. Prov 3:5-6

It takes courage to step out even if it seems we are on the run like David……BUT what a Destiny awaits !!

“Comfort, comfort my people says your God” Isaiah 40:1

Are we not lost for words as we witnessed the removal of four of the Jewish slain from Gaza?

But we heard this morning that it was not the mother Shiri that was returned but that another unidentified body was in the coffin.

This is surely a time of deep grief & mourning especially in Israel and the Jews of the diaspora and those who care about Israel.

Where is Shiri ?? Is she still alive ??.

Is this another Hamas evil propaganda stunt ?

Psalm 83:1-4

O God, do not remain silent;

do not turn a deaf ear,

do not stand aloof, O God.

See how your enemies growl,

how your foes rear their heads.

With cunning they conspire against your people;

they plot against those you cherish.

 “Come,” they say, “let us destroy them as a nation,

so that Israel’s name is remembered no more.

Please take a moment to remember:

Shiri Bibas

Ariel Bibas aged 5

Kfir Bibas aged 2

Oded Lifshitz

Although we cannot comfort the father Yarden Bibas or the family of Oded physically we can pray the following verse believing that God will impart something from us to them at this time.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God”.      2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Still praying for a miracle-amen

It’s Only Half Time !

It was Tom’s first day in full time school. At lunchtime, he began to pack his small rucksack and head home, His teacher stopped him and said, “It’s time for lunch, Tom, why aren’t you with the other children?”

Tom said to the teacher, “I always go home at lunchtime, but I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Realizing what was happening, the teacher said, “Last year Tom you were in in a playgroup but this year you are full time, your only half way through your school day.”

Tom stared in disbelief and in frustration said, “Who signed me up for that?”

The above is a great analogy of those who have been bereaved and have entered the,” second half” of their lives this time without precious loved ones. I don’t believe any of us wanted to, “sign up” for that!.

But all is not lost as we navigate through a place we have never been before and it reminds me of The LORD’s words to Joshua after the death of Moses;

“After the death of Moses, the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ aide: “Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites.  I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses.  Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Mediterranean Sea in the west.  No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land, I swore to their ancestors to give them.”  Joshua 1 1-6

To develop this theme a bit more I was reminded of an excellent book I read by Gracia Burnham called, “To Fly Again”.

Gracia was widowed when after a long spell of abduction by Islamic terrorists, her husband was mistakenly shot dead by those attempting to liberate them. The account of coming to terms with bereavement and bringing up young children is an inspiring read.

She speaks of a basketball coach at a missionary children’s academy and how he was incredible at motivating his teams.

His inspirational point was at half time, “You’ve got to stay in the game!”

His analogy to life was, “Wherever you are in the world, and whatever you’re doing, the game is not over yet, there’s another half to go. My challenge to you today is this: stay in the game! keep pressing on, as Paul says in Philippians 3:14, ‘to reach the end….and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven”

I think after reading this most of us can identify with this analogy.

Gracia went onto say about her own life experience;

“The first half was long. It went well for the most part. But the last two minutes was very hard. I lost my all-star teammate. I had to fight like everything to stay in the game. Now-I’ve had my rest break. I’ve heard the halftime pep talk, I’ve gotten a cold drink, and the second half of my life is ready to begin”

Are you ready?

Some useful links;

Bereavement Journey Course    Click Here

To Fly Again by Gracia Burnham, Click Here

The Dawn Of A New Day !

The release of the Israeli hostages over the weeks has been both sweet & sour. The joy & ecstasy of families re-united coupled with the hard news for some of the death of loved ones.  What an emotional roller coaster which will take a long time to heal. But it is good news for many and I would just like to share about the Dekel-Chen family in particular.

Avital Dekel-Chen was eight months pregnant when her husband Sagui was abducted by Hamas. What caught my eye was the child was to be called Shachar which means dawn or sunrise. Sagui certainly had been sitting in darkness in the shadow of death before the sunrise of release, such joy! His daughters name certainly prophetic, holding out in a time of darkness until the light came flooding in.

It took me back to the day Jude took her last breath, 2nd September 2021 at 6.30am which was the time of the sunrise in Belfast.

Zechariah, John the Baptists priestly Father prophesied after the birth of John of the Christ and referred to Him as the Dayspring, which means the sunrise.

“Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us, to give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”  Luke 1:78-79

One of the greatest blessings I have received through bereavement are the writings of the Scottish divine Samuel Rutherford. One of his biographers quoted about the closing moments of Rutherford’s life into glory.

“With the dawn of the 29th March 1661, “it was said unto him, ‘Come up hither’: and the renowned eagle took his flight unto the Mountain of Spices.”

For believers in Christ, this Jesus the Daystar should give us much hope when we are in a dark place or about to take our last breath. He can be trusted to do what’s best.

David Watson whose book “Fear no Evil”, outlines his battle with cancer said regarding our last breath,

“Death is only putting out the lamp at the rise of a new dawn”.

We thank God again for the amazing reunion of the Dekel-Chen family.

I would recommend the following books for encouragement.

Fear No Evil by David Watson    Click Here

The Inspirational Treasury of Samuel Rutherford    Click Here

Assist Us to Live Not Die

On Friday, MPs have the first opportunity to debate and vote on a proposed law which would give terminally ill people in England and Wales the right to choose to end their life.

The debate will last five hours with at least 150 speakers proposing to speak, which equates to two minutes per speaker according to a Sky News correspondent.

Please bear in mind, The Hunting Act which was passed in 2004 after a Government Inquiry had 700 hours of parliamentary debate.

This is a very close subject to me of course with Jude and I do understand every situation is unique and people can experience exceptional high levels of personal suffering in their last days. Emotionally it is a tsunami at the highest level.

I want to say first of all that for Jude, she wanted to live, and I too wanted her to live. The Doctors & nurses were amazing and throughout her treatment the levels of pain & distress were closely monitored. By the grace of God in that final evening and early hours of the following morning she was sleeping and there were no signs of any major anxiety, now that is what is called dignity in dying. Thankyou to all the staff at the City Hospital in Belfast.

As a Christian, I know that Jude after her last breath was in one moment absent from her body & present with The LORD. We should all be concerned more about what happens after our last breath. For more information Click Here

Sadly, as a nation in the UK we continue to gravitate away from our Christian pedigree which in times past influenced so many nations of the world with the Gospel. It breaks my heart to see how easy it is to get an abortion and now at the other end how easy it could become to end your life.

Even this morning in the book of Leviticus, God reminds His people Israel that taking or assisting another person to take their life is an act that carries the penalty of death. (Lev 24:17 &21).

 I think God cares about LIFE, don’t you?

In the age of progressive medicine and palliative care we really do not have an excuse to even think on these things but Jeremiah was right when he said; 

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?  (17:9)

I’m sure there are many who would like to have a member of their family, “Put down” because of what their family member is experiencing and what they too are experiencing emotionally but The Assisted Dying Bill is not the solution, we must simply continue working with the medical community and providing the funding that is so desperately needed to help in time of need.

Once we get, “Into our heads”, that the Assisted Dying Bill is a legitimate road it simply becomes a slippery slope when other things will be added in time, maybe somebody just depressed, fed up with life and there you go, the Assisted Dying Bill becomes a type of legitimate Suicide.

God help us as a nation to come back to Him and His principals for a blessed life.

If you know NOT Christ……. Click Here

Tender Mercies

“Heavenly Father, thankyou that whatever this life may throw at us your right beside us, and some of the circumstances we encounter are the finger prints of God. Give us eyes to see you LORD in the good and the bad and remember to give you thanks in everything. Amen”

This is the prayer Jude ended with when she gave a talk on the first five verses of Psalm 103 just a few months before being diagnosed with Leukemia.

The Church at St Johns, Hillsborough like so many others were in the midst of the Covid outbreak so Pastor Raj asked Jude to do a few recordings to benefit the congregation during a difficult time.

Some of her opening words on this incredible Psalm written by King David were as follows;

“There are times when we need a good dose of Psalm 103 to wash out that complaining spirit & replace it with a heart of gratitude to The LORD”

Regarding the benefits outlined in the Psalm Jude quotes Spurgeon;

“God selects a few of the choicest pearls, from a casket of divine love, threads them on a string of memory, and hangs them about the neck of gratitude”

Just for a moment, I want to focus on the latter part of verse 3, “….and heals all your diseases”, Jude said:

“Healing is another one of God’s great benefits to our bodies, He brings healing to us in this life through natural & miraculous ways, He promises ultimate healing for all His people in the age to come”

Jude had already said that she had received a miraculous healing, (from the menopause). Read the account by Clicking Here.

Also, and prophetically she would later fulfil ultimate healing. Read the story by Clicking Here.

I came across Jude’s notes recently on this talk and was blessed to be able to watch a short video which is still ministering to saints today.

If you would like to watch Jude give this talk it will encourage & challenge you.

Tender Mercies: A talk by Jude Gray based on the first five verses of Psalm 105.

Click Here

May The LORD bless you with His benefits.

Mizpah !!

Bangor Harbour, Northern Ireland is such a beautiful spot when the sun is shining !!.

I couldn’t help notice the boat in the centre, its name Mizpah which reminded me of the encounter Jacob had with Laban in Genesis 31.

After 20 years of serving Jacob, The LORD finally told him to return to the land of his fathers and God promised He would be with him. (vs3). The LORD had also warned Laban to be careful when catching up with Jacob. (vs24). On paper it looked like there was going to be a showdown but, in the end, the two parties made a covenant sealed with a heap of stones as they went their separate ways saying, “May The LORD keep watch between you & me when we are away from each other”. The word Mizpah literally means ‘Watchtower’. I suggest if you’re not familiar with the whole context to read Genesis Ch 31.

Certainly, in Victorian times, there was an interest in Mizpah jewellery and the language turned more emotional to describe the bond between two people who were separated either by distance or death. This is a far cry from the original context as Laban and Jacob were not really in love with each other !!. But it spoke to my broken heart that day I saw the boat and ministered to me in a way that only God knows-thankyou LORD.

I write this on what would have been Jude’s 61st birthday and I miss her incredibly more than words can say, but I am so glad I know where she is, “absent from the body but present with The LORD”, and birthday free !!.

As a token, I visited the ‘closet’ today and placed a stone, a very special one with the inscription ‘Mizpah’.

The Trump Of God !

Some years ago, I remember seeing some beautiful flowers, resembling trumpets when delivering mail to a particular property. I knew the customers and after commenting on the flowers, I was blessed some weeks later with a gift of bulbs. They are called Nerine Bowdenii of South African origin.

The story goes that the flowers drifted on the seas from South Africa, eventually washing up on the shores of the island of Guernsey. It was this ocean voyage that earned the flower its name: ‘Nerine’, in a reference to the 50 beautiful daughters of the sea-god Nereus. The flower is also known as the Guernsey Lily in the UK.

Some say that the Nerine Bowdenii expresses what is often left unsaid, thus bridging the gap between heart and mind. “I care about you”.

As the flowers have just blossomed in the garden it reminded me especially in the area of grief, things that were left unsaid. Like so many others who experience deep grief you cannot help thinking whether you did enough and it takes time & prayer to bring healing to our emotions. You don’t always see things at the time but friends remind me I gave my best to Jude especially in the closing days.

Somethings are left unsaid, but love goes beyond words when it is deep & secure in a healthy marriage. I close with a “Life verse”, that encourages me daily regarding my re-union with Jude if I’m still living at the blast of a Trumpet !!!.

Be encouraged Christian if loved ones in Christ have been sent ahead…..

“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.  For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.  For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.  For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:  Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so, shall we ever be with the Lord.  Wherefore comfort one another with these words.” 1 Thess 4:13-18